What’s The List Every Single Christian should Write?
As a single Christian, the most important list you’ll ever make will be the list of traits you’re looking for in a mate. It’s something you should take your time on. It’s something you should pour your heart into. And it’s important that you collaborate with the Lord, through the process. This list should be a part of any Single Christian’s Prayer Journal.
We make all kinds of lists in life
We make lots of lists: To-do lists, Grocery lists, organizational lists and Do-not forget lists. These lists, keep our lives in order and give us a certain peace of mind. We make these lists because we’ve learned, through experience, that during an average day, it’s easy for us to forget something important.
Having a list to return to guarantees us that we haven’t left anything necessary behind. No matter how busy, tired or overwhelmed we are, these lists keep us on track.
We make lists before we need them
We make these list before the day or event starts. We make them before our trip to the store. We make lists before we need them and while we still have time to think them through.
How dating is like a trip to the grocery store
Have you ever made out a grocery list and then arrived at the store only to realize that you’ve left your list at home?
No matter how organized your list was or how calm you were while compiling it, It can seem impossible to remember the listed items.
Standing there, in the middle of a busy store, with people whirling by you, and so many choices in front you, even your greatest needs can seem impossible to remember.
Toilet paper, light bulbs or trash bags may be necessary to daily life, but can be quickly forgotten during the rush of a store experience.
Don’t let a whirlwind romance sweep you off your list
Making sure you get what you need in a relationship can be just like that trip to the grocery store. Our relationship needs are so much more important than the groceries that we buy. But just as quickly forgotten in the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that come early on in a relationship.
If we entrust our grocery needs to a list then shouldn’t we be as diligent with our relationship needs? Having a list of the things that we can’t live without in a relationship can help ensure that we aren’t being blinded by love and forgetting what is most important to us. And even more critical that we remember what God has promised us.
Sure you won’t pull out your list in the middle of a date to go over it. But when you’re home alone and in a quiet time with the Lord, this list can help to take your focus from the euphoric feeling of new love and refocus on the importance of a day-to-day ever-after.
Praying over a list before a dating relationship starts can help to solidify in your mind, what your expectations are. For yourself and for your future. This will help you to know what you should be looking for in a potential spouse. And keep you from walking forward blindly.
Pouring your heart into a list
You can comfortably sit down and make a quick list of traits that you know your future mate will need, like being a Christian or being kind. But other essential traits take some time to be revealed and understood.
So start with a list of the things you know you need or want. Make it a rough draft and then start to pray over it. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what is essential on the list and what is not. Give the lord permission to change your list if it doesn’t match up with His idea of a perfect mate for you.
Listening for the Lord’s leading.
After you ask the Lord to speak to you, expect that he will. Look and listen to the Lord’s guidance as you go about your life. The Lord can lead us through different sources. My list was shaped by many different influences. Such as…
- Things I heard in sermons
- What I read in books
- Things I heard others say about their spouses
- Experiences I had in all kinds of different relationships.
- Things the Lord had promised me
- And especially through the time I spent in God’s word and prayer
Shaping your list
Things on my list that I could reference with scripture were. For example one of the things on my list was that the man is a Christian and that he would love God first and me second. This point was important to me because of my understanding of 1 John 4:7-8
1 John 4 :7&8 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. (KJV)
Because of 1 John 4:7-8, I knew that if a man weren’t a Christian, then he would have no love to offer me except a human, fallible love. But a Christian man would be able to love beyond himself, by tapping into the Love Of God, Through Jesus Christ. And that is the way that I wanted to be loved. With the love, mercy, and Grace that can only come out of a relationship with God.
Often the bulleted points on my list were short, but the corresponding scripture would be written in its entirety. This way I could quote the scripture with each reading. This repetitive scripture reading would allow the word of God to mold and shape my expectations and change my heart where needed.
A new year is a great time to focus on a new list
As we approach a new year why not start to work on this ever-so-important list for yourself? If you’d like some company, ideas or some encouragement then why not join along with us? Down Lily Elizabeth Lane has a Christian Singles Friendship Facebook group and some of the members will be creating a prayer journal throughout this new year. I will be posting prompts, points, and prayers, to the group, that you can use to help you create both a list and a prayer journal.
And it’s free to join along
You can sign up for the group here. Then Buy yourself a notebook, journal or just grab some scrap paper and be ready to go on January 1st. If you’ve missed the January 1st, don’t worry. You can join up anytime. We’re always looking for new single Christian sisters (and brothers too) to join us. We’re not a dating group, but a group for prayer, friendship, support, and community.
Whether you join us or go it alone, don’t put off making The Most Important List You’ll Ever Make. This list can change not only your single days but especially the outcome of your married days. And it’s The List every Single Christian should Write.